By Jessenia Barros
Striving to better ourselves, develop and get to a better place in life is great. But we should not replace this with that nagging feeling of unhappiness with ourselves…the stubborn feeling that we can never get rid of no matter how much growth and love we obtain.
Pretty ironic for someone like myself who won a Karaoke in the nineties for singing The Greatest Love of All. I had yet to get to that point of self-love and acceptance, in fact, I would not say I truly knew the meaning of any love at all.
I remembered the painful details of all the rejection and hurt I had experienced, it was like I kept myself limited because no matter the progress I achieved, ending right back to where I started. Admitting this is how I have lived the past 10 years is not something I am ashamed of.
Rather than wait to be on the blissful end of the bridge before letting you know what I faced in my struggles on the other side, I would rather let you into my daily battles now. For many, It is always easier to tell a story of our past rather than the present battles.
Acknowledging myself is the start, peeling off that clock of doubt will let me appreciate myself. With this, I have discovered it is the sure way to get others to understand, love, and accept me. I believe many of us yearn to have that understanding and love from others which may not be possible if we:
- Repeatedly feels sorry for every step you take or word you utter. Like you did something so …wrong.
- Cannot tolerate the slightest mishap or flaw about yourself or any ones you make
- Continually reflect on your imperfections and relive them building disappointment and rage inside.
- Find yourself needing the presence of a positive force, this may be a friend or family who helps you realize how wonderful you are. When they are gone that good feeling goes with them.
- Allow that feeling of guilt to overcome you when you give yourself any attention.
- Make constant decisions that put you at a disadvantage
- Place yourself last on the list.
- Convince yourself that your passions don’t matter, making it seem like you don’t have a right to want more.
We are constantly surrounded by ideas that point towards change, making us feel the need for something better, perhaps a better product, skill, or place. It is all a big industry worth millions...the creation of constant doubt in our minds by society. In all this, we should never lose the sense of the fact that we are perfect just the way we are. All our imperfections blend in to make us a complete specimen of perfection.
Elevate yourself above your past mistakes
Let the past rest in the past, the constant need to define what we do based on past mistakes is ever-present. But what we should understand does not define who we are. Deciding our worth by the worst moment or best aspect of our life is something we get to decide.
Decide to envelop your mind with the best moments of your life, reminding yourself that self-love is a priority.
Fight too hard over nothing
Why hide? The constant need to only show the good side of who we are to those around us so we can feel accepted is like that awful job we all hate but have to keep on getting up to each morning. Let people see and embrace you for you. Your flaws are part of the learning process, accept them and learn from them. Don’t hide because of the mistakes you have made. We are most times scared to be lonely or rejected so we try to portray the best part of who we are alone or something we are not. Everything that comes together makes you who you are. Both the good and the bad. Constant pretense is a chore. Don’t do it.
Embrace the darkness
The monster you run away from is the key to your greatest success. Take this page, for example, it is a combination of my experiences that made me understand and yearn to share with you all. Your weakness ultimately becomes your greatest strength in the end. Those stories, battles you conquered are what give you the needed insight into the forever-changing world around us, and help you be valuable to others, giving them a helping hand when all seems lost.
Words cannot describe how important you are
You are needed. Knowing and acknowledging that you are important is a major driving force to anyone’s self-esteem and confidence. I was once told as a child by someone I looked up to that I was not a person people would want to be around. This affected me as I grew older. I constantly sought approval from others so I could feel better about myself. You may not be a celebrity, someone everyone talks about and worships however, do not forget that in your way you touch positively lives each day. You are worthy of love and respect. You matter. So walk straight knowing you are that positive light brightening the lives of others around you.
Drops of positivity form an ocean of happiness
After accepting that you are important you need to learn to live, not just live but TRULY experience life doing the things you want to do. Make those beautiful moments last, spread your wings, explore. Challenge yourself, it does not matter if you fall sometimes. Be okay with those little mistakes and push forward. Keep your focus on the goal ahead, and be loving to those around you. Giving hope to others goes a long way.
I have hidden away sometimes, ashamed of who I am, waiting to be better but then, I have come to realize it is not worth it putting myself down and constantly hiding.
Accepting that you are perfectly flawed and being proud of this will help strip away that unnecessary guilt. You deserve a moment of true happiness and to live it to the fullest.
With a lot of effort, I have come to know that I am not perfect, I am a working progress. This is why I open up to you getting you know that you are not alone in this. I hope you feel the love and strength from this flawed human just sharing a bit of her world with you through this post.
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