By Jessenia Barros

 By Jessenia Barros. Jessenia is a content writer with a passion for all things health. 

The challenge to practice self-love is difficult, especially in dark times. However, self-love helps humans to feel better about themselves and treat others they want to be treated. 

When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see first? Do you focus on your imperfections such as the blackheads on your nose, the crease near your eyes, the messy hair, etc.? Do you ever wish you could have a different hairstyle or think you’d be better if you just got in some exercise?  

Many people often think about these things based on the circumstances they are currently in.  It’s so easy to wish for things to be better and that they will be when you have time or money. 

Now, have you ever stood in the mirror and said, “I look great!” or “I’m happy with my life and its direction.”? The unfortunate truth is that the majority of people will realize they have never said these positive affirmations to themselves.  If this seems disheartening to you, you’ll be glad to know that you don’t have to always think negatively about how you look or your life. 

It just takes a little bit of self-love to see the positive side of life and yourself!

What Does Self-Love Mean?

One of the most talked-about topics, especially with the millennial group, is self-love. You can see many of the discussions taking place on social media. Although highly talked about, only a handful of individuals truly understand what it means to have self-love. For some people, the idea of self-love means to be egotistical and worrying only about yourself. You may think that self-love means treating yourself to a day of shopping or taking a bubble bath.

Despite what you may think, this is not self-love.

The way to understand self-love is to look at it as something unique to yourself. The best definition for it is to “consider your own happiness and health. This means being aware of how you are feeling and what tends to make you happier. Everybody is different when it comes to what happiness means to them. 

Everybody deserves the chance to be loved and be more than who they are. Regardless of any circumstances you are in, nobody should ever make you feel you don’t deserve to be loved or can be more than you are at the moment. 

If you feel worthless, whatever the reason, just know that self-love is a tool that will positively affect you and make you realize you deserve better of yourself. 

The Importance Of Self-Love 

How does your day typically go? Are you always stressed out? Do you have more responsibilities than you feel you can handle? People often listen to others’ opinions about them than their own opinions of themselves. This causes them to look at themselves in a negative light. 

Self-love is a necessity in life! It is a downright MUST!

The only person who is with you 24 hours a day, seven days a week is you. You know how you are feeling and thinking. You, and only you, should have the power to influence the things around you and your feelings. It’s imperative to treat yourself well. If someone were to bash you for looking crappy or whatever, you’d be kicking them to the curb. If you don’t expect it from others, why do you expect it from yourself?

With self-love, you become your biggest supporter! It’s a role that only you can fill (even though it’d be nice if others supported you too). And, it may be that you have others supporting you, but if you don’t support yourself, it’s not going to matter in the grand scheme of things.

How Can You Make Self-Love Work For You

Self-love doesn’t have to involve money or additional time. Self-love means you replace it with something negative.  The key is to establish a light within yourself that focuses on the positive and not the negative. Best of all, they are free to use and put into action. 

1. Speak Kindly 

Being kind to yourself isn’t hard to do, and there are many ways it can be done. 

• In a physical sense, you can get exercise, eat healthy foods and sleep when your body needs it. 
• In a social sense, you surround yourself with positive people. 
• In a mental sense, you realize that you can’t do it all and repeat positive affirmations to help you through it.  

The idea is to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. 

Think about your work. Did something happen that didn’t come out the way you wanted because you were incompetent or weren’t smart enough to address the problem? Thinking negatively hinders you from being successful. Rather than focusing on the negative aspects, remind yourself that the situation is probably tricky, but you’ll be able to contend with it. 

2. Show Yourself Gratitude 

When it comes to self-love, it’s important to be gracious to yourself. It’s not uncommon for people to have a gratitude journal. They can use it to remind them of the more positive times and look forward to a better future. 

Right now, look at gratitude as a replacement for complaints. Most people complain because their attention is on the negative aspects of their life. Complaints mean you don’t focus on the right things going on. Gratefulness isn’t easy to come back because people are ingrained with the need to complain. With self-love, you feel grateful for the positive things in your life.

3. Be Positive 

When people say, “Think positive or be positive,” most people will roll their eyes and nod in agreement, even they don’t feel it. If only it were that easy, you might think to yourself. Well, it can be, and it’s an essential aspect of self-love.  

You know life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine – that’s just wishful thinking. Being positive means you understand things have a time and place; it’ll work out as long as you keep going and do your best.  You have to remember that things may not be the way you want at the moment, but you have to keep going. This is staying positive.  

You acknowledge to yourself that things are difficult right now, but, in time, things will change for the better. It’s perfectly fine to get upset, aggravated, etc. You may feel overwhelmed by it all. However, when you allow these emotions, it keeps you from moving forward and attaining goals. This can be a real problem.  

4. Do Something Deliberately 

Most people never do something on purpose. However, when it comes to your thought process, this is something you need to do intentionally. How can you improve something and make an effort to change for the better if you’re not deliberate about it?  When you are deliberate about your thoughts, you gain power over thoughts.  

So, when you first wake up, be mindful of what you’re thinking. Do you feel strong and ready to face the day? If not, flip the script and think of what makes you happy to be alive. 

A way to be deliberate is to see your thoughts as an experiment. This will help alleviate the pressure you put on yourself. If thinking one way doesn’t work out as you want, remember that and try something else. There’s no price to being deliberate, and you eventually find a healthier method of thinking positively. 

5. Be Just Who You Are 

Putting up a façade of who you are really are can be exhausting. When you’re with a best friend, you may feel full of energy and excitement. With a group of people, you may be a bit more hesitant to share things. The unfortunate aspect is that everybody tries to change who they are for one reason or another.

If you are to have self-love, you must recognize the person you are.  Any gifts and abilities you have are unique to you, so quit trying to change what doesn’t need changing. Focus on highlighting these things that make you who you are – that makes you unique!

Self-love is an integral part of life, and the above tips will help you recognize the good things about yourself. The next time you see yourself in the mirror, you won’t feel consumed by negative thoughts. Instead, you’ll see yourself in a more positive light. You will see that you have so much to offer those around you and the world. 

Bear in mind that the above tips are just some of the ways to establish self-love with yourself. If you find a method that works for you, stick with it and share it with others. 

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